28 april 2021
Er is nog plaats voor 11 deelnemers.
Online Workshop Learning and Behavioral Difficulties
How behavior works hard to complete the system
I look at the learning disability as a phenomenon in itself, and not the person who received the stamp. From a systemic point of view, it is not about the individual who has difficulty with spelling, or cannot sit still, but about the behavior (of not being able to spell, for example) that wants to portray something excluded.
Behavior can be very difficult when it bears a burden from our ancestors.
One way to survive painful events is to 'forget' the event, stop talking about it, so that you don't have to feel the painful anymore. As long as there is to be survived, this works well. After two or three generations, the system no longer considers it necessary to repeat this pattern, because apparently there has survived. Then symptoms arise, or 'difficult behavior', or learning problems, to make it clear that there is enough survived and that it is now time to re-member what was left out.
This behavior is difficult in everyday life; when we look at it systemically, it appears that the behavior is a direction indicator that shows who or what still deserves a place.
Every time it seems to be coincidental to whom this symptom ends up. One grandchild goes through life as a Sunday child, the other seems to have all the burden of the entire family system on his shoulders.
Of course, such a child must be supported in order to develop despite the symptom that prevents her or him from learning. And it can be very helpful, especially for that child, to look at the behavior itself, separate from this child. The child is not doing this behavior on purpose! This child's behavior happens to be “hired” by the system to portray the incompleteness in the system.
The more the behavior or disorder has the effect of excluding the child, the greater the chance that a pattern of exclusion is repeated here. So the question: 'who was not allowed to belong in the system?' can give clues as to where to look.
We cannot restore the past. However, we can acknowledge the facts that happened as they are. We can also recognize that it was apparently necessary for someone or an event to be excluded. It was probably a good way to get on with life to forget a terrible or painful event and never talk about it again. Thanks to those survival ways of our ancestors, we live!
When parents or professionals look at the behavior or learning difficulties with the systemic view - knowing that the behavior is hard at work to indicate where we adults have to integrate the torn out pages of the history, - something relaxes. The behavior no longer has to be so prominent, and more energy is released for learning and playing.
You will learn this during the workshop:
Bibi will give an introduction to systems and how behavior now can often be traced back to grandparents' survival of painful events.
By using constellations (in the imagination) to look at a number of cases about learning and behavioral difficulties, we gain insights about how we are all connected to our background system, and also to other systems in which we live and work, such as the school system for example.
After this workshop you will look at learning and behavioral difficulties from a different perspective and you will have different tools to deal with them than before.
A workshop for parents and teachers, also for adults with for example ADHD or, Dyslexia, counselors for learning difficulties and other interested parties.
All kinds of behavioral and learning difficulties can be introduced, from autism disorders to frequent quarrels, or difficulty with math, for example.
With workshops on a specific theme, it does not really matter who does a constellation: everyone can let his or her own story run along, and representatives will notice that you sometimes wonder whether you are representing someone else's or your own system.