Systemic pedagogy according to Marianne Franke

Marianne Franke was one of the first to apply systemic work in pedagogy. Both interested in systemic work and constellations related to parent-child relationships, Bibi and Sandra immersed themselves in Marianne’s knowledge for three days during a workshop in Portugal.

Bibi Schreuder

“Sandra and I went to Porto to attend a workshop by Marianne Franke. Marianne is 83; I hadn’t seen her in about 15 years. She gave me a warm hug at the entrance. It’s incredible how sharp she still is!

With her, I first saw representatives position themselves instead of being placed by the client. For us, that’s the most common way of positioning, but questions arose about it in Portugal. She explained that both methods are possible and both provide information. The client’s positioning reveals more about the client’s will, while representatives positioning themselves provide more information about what the system has to say.

Marianne often explains clearly how parent-child relationships work. And yet, I usually only understand how it actually works systemically later.

For example: “A child’s love for its father comes through its mother.” Can the mother say to the child, “You are allowed to love your father. Your father loves you,” or can she not say that, or only in veiled terms? Then the child lacks the permission to love its father. Love must come from and through its mother. A child can only fully embrace its father’s love if it feels its mother’s permission, or even encouragement, to do so.

Marianne can also be so delightfully direct with a mother who judges her husband: “If a mother does not grant her child the love of their father, those children will have problems with relationships later on.”

She also explains that a man only manages to take his father’s place around the age of forty, and that this is often the struggle of a midlife crisis: the feeling of having to leave your mother behind in order to truly ‘take in’ your father.

Marianne’s perspective on babies born by cesarean section, under general anesthesia, was an eye-opener for me. It was prompted by a man who said he was constantly asked about his feelings, but that he didn’t know what feeling was. Marianne asked him how he was born. “By cesarean section,” was his answer. The mother is then anesthetized and unable to feel – and perhaps the baby too, I wonder. Sometimes, the ability to feel remains absent.

Marianne conducted a constellation with the mother, the baby, the “ability to feel,” and also the “ability not to feel.” The latter is also a blessing when undergoing surgery! It was beautiful to see how the “ability not to feel” slowly diminished as the mother cradled the baby in her arms and the “ability to feel” drew closer, until she, too, stroked the baby.

Another statement I had to mull over for a moment: Marianne has an adoptive mother say to her (unknown) biological mother, “I do it all for you.” It’s wonderful to see how the whole system relaxes.

And a mother feels guilty that she doesn’t love both children equally. Marianne’s response: with the firstborn, the mother knows that her life up to that point is over. This birth is the miracle with the burden. With the second child, the mother already knows that life as a mother is different, so it’s a different kind of love for the second than for the first.

And when a mother asks how she can help her daughter, Marianne is truly astute: “Never help your daughter! That weakens her. Help yourself!”

Another beautiful quote: “Your fate is part of your dignity. I respect your fate and dignity.”

And: “Only with an attitude of gratitude can you grow.”

I’m grateful to have seen Marianne work again and to have benefited from her sharp observation and bold statements!”

Sandra Hardenberg

“I was the representative during the constellation of the mother, the baby, ‘the ability to feel,’ and also ‘the ability not to feel.’ And I was also part of the healing image, as it were, the healing image that concluded the constellation. Marianne meant: take an imaginary picture of this image. This image is your healing image.

Such an image isn’t “invented,” but emerges. It’s an experience of inner order, not a cognitively designed solution. Yet, I wondered if this was truly a healing image. Or was it the person’s desire to help the client? As a representative, it was an image that did feel fitting and at the same time not.

Why is didn’t feel fitting  was mainly due to the speed of the other (mainly Portuguese) representatives. For me, as the representative of the “ability to feel,” they were far too fast. The mother’s representative beckoned frantically for me to come faster to her and the baby’s representative.

This was a movement I, as the representative, wanted to make, but at a completely different speed. The moment I reached the mother and baby, I knelt before them, thereby blocking the view of the “ability not to feel.” This representative then distanced himself from us.

I agree with Marianne’s motto: Slowly, slowly…”