Creating setting in an inappropriate space

At the Bert Hellinger Institute we often work in our familiar spaces, but also at (rented) locations, for example at seminars and in-company trainings of our clients. Often we find ourselves in a space we are not familiar with. And sometimes it happens in the process that it is not practically workable and/or does not feel energetically right. There are still tables in the space, there are poles in the middle, you trip over the power strips, there is noise from the neighbors, there is an unpleasant history attached to the location. When you don’t feel comfortable in the space for whatever reason, it interferes with the flow of the constellation – because you, the facilitator, are the instrument.

So what can you do as a facilitator to make the space safe and your own, so that you can work well?

Barbara Hoogenboom (director, systemic facilitator and co-owner at BHI) shares one of her experiences:

“I am regularly confronted with an ‘awkward space’. What systemic facilitator doesn’t? I was really tested to my limits during a study week.

I was in South Africa for the first time in my life, in Cape Town, in ‘castle’ Cape of Good Hope. In the slave fort built by the Dutch, in other words. There my body, which had been consciously and unconsciously dealing with the Dutch slavery past for a year, felt very restless, sick almost.

I was a participant in a local study week. And in my naivete had said ‘yes’ to the invitation to teach an introductory organizational constellation workshop. On that first day. In a room above the former slave cellars. A room that was dark, dirty and totally unprepared, because it had been spontaneously assigned to this workshop. And where my body really went into total overdrive.

I asked for help, holding space, from my colleagues. I had (coincidence does not exist) a box of Texel earth with me, from our vegetable garden, and put it under my chair. Literally letting me ground that. And I opened the workshop by sharing what was living in me.

And from there it went naturally again…”

3 Tips to create a safe setting for yourself as a facilitator

1. Prepare the space

Find your way to make the space appropriate for you for the session. This can be by opening or closing windows and window coverings, or moving furniture around. You can also design your own ritual to energetically cleanse the space, such as with sage, or lay down your own attributes, such as stones.

2. Prepare yourself

You yourself are a very big part of a workable setting. You are the instrument. So it is essential that you feel safe and feel the right energy flowing. That is why it is very important to take time to prepare yourself. You can do that, for example, by doing a breathing exercise, grounding exercise and/or meditation, re-storing your resources within yourself, having an object with you that helps you as an anchor. You can also ask colleagues who are in another place to be remotely present for you as a holding space or source. And above all, connect with your own background and your unique place in it.

3. Take the group with you when you need to

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the setting may still not feel quite right. You can’t influence the noise from the neighbors, you can’t change that annoying pole in the middle of the room, you yourself may not have found the peace within you that you had wanted to find. Then it is good to name this. Naming something out loud helps you to let it be less prominent in you. You can go a step further by asking the group if they can share in the fact that the setting is not perfect and if they want to make holding space for the systemic work that will be done. You thereby share responsibility by accepting together that the circumstances are as they are, so the burden need not rest solely on your shoulders.