The foundation of systemic phenomenological work

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8 March 2023| Persoonlijk

Making holding space

Recently the annual motocross off-road trip was held in our town. Hundreds of motocross and quad riders look forward to this 50-kilometer long and beautiful off-road trip every year.

Unfortunately I’m not looking forward to it, because during a previous edition one of our three horses completely panicked. So much so that we almost called the vet to calm him down. So honestly I was a little nervous leading up to this day.

Of course everything in me knows that making holding space is important, for myself and for the horses. But how do you do that if you have had a bad previous experience and are nervous yourself?
In the days before, my thoughts went consciously to how I could make holding space for the horses. I reminded myself that the person who makes holding space must first of all be in good contact with himself. You have to consciously come and stay in alignment with your own body.
Suddenly I could feel I had something else to do besides…I realized I was working hard to keep the motocross racers out, I really wanted them gone. I heard myself grumbling about the motocross riders and the off-road trip the days before, and had shouted something like: “No fireworks on New Year’s Eve, but one day this!?!”.

Making holding space asks to include what may or cannot be there, to let the exclusive be included, so that there is completeness. Completeness in the whole.
In this way, those for whom the holding space is made can slowly let completeness land within themselves.

So what I had to do was take the motocross racers and this annual event to my heart.

When this penny dropped, it became possible for me to lock this in and be calm myself during this motocross. And the horses? They were also quiet this time…

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